6th Annual Home & Garden Expo for Relay For Life
11 years ago
Monday, September 7, 2009
Don't Call Me Hun.
Lately I have been seeing people complaining about being called Hun. I understand to some people that this might not be what one would call a term of endearment. To these people I just want to say "Sticks and stones make break my bones but words will never hurt me" or "I'm rubber your glue whatever you say bounces of me and sticks to you." Remember those phrases from when we were kids? When we were five and six years old we didn't run around getting all butthurt over a word..we just taunted the other person with some silly quote. I have seen people say "In my culture that word is not a term of friendship" or other such things, followed by "Respect our Cultural Differences". Hypocritical if you ask me, because there is absolutely no respect coming from them on the cultural differences if they get all over someone that term is culturally acceptable for. I have a great solution to the problem, and a great way to have a little mutual respect. If your friend calls you Hun and that word really is just so terrifying that it makes you want to gouge your eyeballs out, then ask them to stop using it, a true friend would. If it is someone you will be talking to ONE time about some sort of business, the SUCK IT THE HELL UP! The whole world does not need to see someone bitch and complain about one little word that 99.9% of the people who use it only mean in a kind and friendly way. I thought we were all adults on the adult grid in Second Life. How about we all start acting like it? Is that too hard?
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I hate being called 'Hon' I am not offended, I am not insulted I just hate it.
ReplyDeleteI do 'suck it up' and I don't have a go at people (strangers) that use it.
But is it really that hard just to use the name that is oh-so-convieniently placed above my head or in the IM Window?
My experience of people who use the word 'hun' has been when it's been used in the passive aggressive sense.
So SUCK IT THE HELL UP and use the name that people have chosen for themselves, until you get to know them and come up with a pet name that you both like
Im not saying that using "Hun" is the right thing to do, I'm just saying there has got to be bigger issues in the world than a nickname
ReplyDeleteof course there are bigger issues, there is global warming, political unrest, starving people, abused animals, neglected children, that doesnt mean I can get pissed the fuck off about something pointless too!
ReplyDeleteHappy you post about it, as I often use such epithets compulsively. Sorry if I think you are a sweetheart, a sweetie, a honey, a hon (tho I rarely use the latest). Usually if it irks someone, they will tell me. And we will have a mutual ceasefire of that kind: I will try not calling you affectionate names, just don't freak out if it slips, but you can remind me. It usually is convenient to both camps and peace is restored.
ReplyDeleteIt's kind of odd, now that I think about it. I was raised never to use nicknames unless given permission. If I met someone named Thomas I was taught to call him Thomas unless he specifically said "call me Tommy/Tom" or what have you. Using an abbreviation was also acceptable if that person introduced her or himself as Bob rather than Robert/Pat instead of Patricia. Yet these same elders called me sweetie/sweetheart/honey/darling whenever they addressed me, even when I was in my teens and twenties. "Honey set it down over there..." You get the idea.
ReplyDeleteIn SL I'll address someone as their full name until told to do otherwise, and I expect the same. I absolutely abhor being called Isa. I'll tell you once or twice to call me Is or Izzy; if you call me Isa after that, don't expect a response.
However, using nicknames is different than saying hon or sweetie to me. I grew up in NY and I moved to the southern US, so it's common to me, and certainly not offensive. I'm kind of surprised lately at how many people find it patronizing when I use it as a term of endearment or just a polite way of addressing someone. I will say, though, that if you ask me not to do it, I won't do it.
Come to think of it, I should have kept a list of all of the people who don't like it... Oops!
I'm the same way, Codie! I'm a Texas girl... born, raised and someday buried here and such term of endearment phrases are just burned into my vocabulary. And same... People will usually tell me if they don't like being called something and I'll try to make an effort to not do it :D As for the use of the word "hun". That totally drives me nuts, but not for some meaning of it... It is suppose to be an abbreviation of the word "honey"... so what's with the spelling "hun"??? it's HON! H -O-N. lol... so when I see people saying "How you doin, hun?" it is like nails across a chalkboard to me. lol (part of my weird OCDish grammar thing) :D
ReplyDeleteI tell my friends that the word "hun" bothers me. They respect that, and don't call me hun. It's so simple. If I call some guy "cutie" and he, instead of laughing, gets offended, I would never call him "cutie" again! That -- is mutual respect. What you are talking about is not respect at all... it's all about YOU. Please, when people make a simple request, and it doesn't cause you any pain, do it. What's so hard about that? Please don't call me hun, I don't like it. There. I've said it. Can you please respect my wishes? Thanks
ReplyDeleteHey Hun you look boring. If I want call you hun I will. haha. vI add you to my new 'Most boring people in SL blog'.
ReplyDeleteI call a couple of my female friends hun and from what I know it has not offended them (also one of the girls calls me and her other friends hun and babe) and I am ok with it. If they ask me to stop then I would.
ReplyDeleteHow about when a so-called professional, in the workplace uses it? I am a corporate secretary. I handle sensitive stock information, payroll, and all sorts of high-end paperwork and am considered a corporate officer. So this accountant comes in to help with the quarterly taxes. He pops into my office (I'm the only female on the floor) and says, "Hey hon, can I have some coffee?." So I looked right at him and told him the coffee was in the kitchen and I asked him what he called me. All of the sudden he turns red. Listen, if you don't know me, and we are in a professional setting, this "term of endearment" IS OFFENSIVE. If you wouldn't say it to a male colleague, don't say it to me.
ReplyDeleteAargh - I found this when putting into google 'don't call me hun'. It's b___ irritating, and only seems to have started in the last year or two. No, it's not the end of the world being called 'hun', but surely we can mildly object - particularly when, as it's so often used, by people on the internet we've never even met. But you yourself seem to be getting very worked up about this. You tell us 'to suck it the hell up' (whatever that means) and that we are 'bitching'. Interesting...!!
ReplyDeletesorry, I don't like being called Hun. I recognize it is a regional thing and people are used to saying it. To others it has a different meaning. Cultural as well. Hun, sweetie are reserved for those younger than yourself especially children you adore. I am not your child. its condensing to call an adult that. Culturally, there are groups that have flashbacks to slavery. my grandma hated to be called girl, hun or sweetie by salespeople. Nah, time to rethink why we use the word Hun.
ReplyDelete